Homemade Nacho Cheese Sauce – Sure it’s Harder, But at Least it’s More Expensive!

Unlike most of the videos I post, this nacho cheese sauce recipe is not cheaper and easier to make at home. In fact, you could probably get a gallon of that industrial strength lubricant that passes for cheese sauce at the grocery store for the same cost as a single batch of this, but what you lose in cost and quantity, you more than make up for in actual food content.

I’m not really that militant about insisting people read nutritional labels. I mean, who has the time? But just for fun, the next time you’re in the processed foods aisle (if those are still legal where you live) check out the back of a nacho cheese sauce. Pretty frightening.

However, while we’re going to use real, honest-to-goodness cheese in this, we still want to mimic some of the other more desirable characteristics of that day-glow yellow cheese syrup they pump on your chips at the movies.

We want the same thin, slightly runny viscosity, so that the sauce seeps down and around all the chips on your plate. It’s a total rookie mistake to make a nacho cheese sauce too thick, since as soon as it hits the chips it tightens up considerably, and you end up with a lump of cheese, and some serious sauce-to-chip ratio issues. Even at room temp, this sauce remains fairly fluid.

As you’ll see, I used Jack, Muenster, and white cheddar cheese for mine, which gave me a pale, yet pleasantly-colored sauce, but if you want something a little “brighter,” then go with the classic orange cheddar instead. Contrary to popular believe, orange cheese is not artificially colored, and uses annatto seed to produce that iconic hue.

Anyway, if you planning on having a nacho cheese sauce involved in your Super Bowl party plans, and you really should, I hope you give this a try. By the way, I’ll show you how to do some quick-pickled jalapeno rings in a video Friday, so stay tuned for that. Enjoy!

Ingredients (makes about 5 cups of sauce):

1/4 cup melted butter

3 tbsp plus 1 tsp all-purpose flour

3 cups cold milk

salt and pepper to taste

1/4 tsp chipotle pepper

1/4 tsp ancho chili powder

1/4 tsp cayenne

1/2 tsp paprika

1/2 lb sharp cheddar cheese, grated

1/4 lb Monterey Jack cheese, grated

1/4 lb Muenster cheese, grated

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Boil-n-Bake Baby Back Ribs – Crime Against Nature, Or Just Guilty of Being Delicious?

Here’s what I know: I took some baby back ribs, simmered them for an hour in a flavorful liquid, glazed them in sauce, roasted them in the oven for about half an hour, and they looked and tasted really good. I also know these boil-n-bake baby back ribs would be great at any party, preferably a Super Bowl party (during which the Giants win the game).

Here’s what I don’t know: Why so many people will lose their minds over the fact that I boiled these ribs. They’ll say it’s a crime against nature, and that these are just not the same as baby backs slowly roasted over smoky coals for hours and hours. Well, duh.

These aren’t meant to replace, or even compete with, a traditionally barbecued version. This is simply a fast and tasty alternative method for having a nice stack of ribs appear on your snack table. Seriously, what’s the problem?

This is one of those recipes where I don’t want or expect you to use the same stuff I did. This is more about the quick and dirty method than any specific ingredients. I would make sure the simmering liquid is very well salted, and have a decent amount of acid and spice, but other than that, anything goes.

As far as the glaze, I just threw a bunch of stuff in a mixing bowl, in a sort of stream of saucy consciousness, but very much enjoyed the results. Chinese 5-spice is wonderful with pork, and created a beautifully aromatic base for the sweet, sour, and spicy sauce.

By the way, if it looks like I was a little short on sauce, I was, but made a little more while they were roasting, and it was fine. The amounts below will give you plenty for a rack of baby back ribs. I hope you give this a try soon. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

1 slab baby back ribs

2 1/2 quarts cold water

1/2 cup rice vinegar

6 cloves crushed garlic

1/2 onion, chopped

2 tbsp kosher salt (less if using fine salt)
1 tbsp Chinese 5-spice

1 tsp red chili flakes

2 bay leaves

For the glaze:

1 1/2 tbsp soy sauce

1 1/2 tbsp rice vinegar

1 1/2 tbsp ketchup

1 1/2 tbsp Dijon mustard

1 1/2 tbsp honey

1 1/2 tbsp brown sugar

2 tsp sambal chili paste, or to taste

1/2 tsp Chinese 5-spice

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Balsamic Beurre Noir – A Black Butter Sauce Any Femme Fatale Would Love

It’s too bad I didn’t go to film school. If I had, I could have done a clever play on the film noir genre for this balsamic beurre noir recipe. 

Of course, it would have been done in black and white, and featured a chain-smoking, fishnet stocking-clad femme fatale who would eventually double-cross me after a few extended close-ups of spinning ceiling fans. But, I didn’t, so all you get is this plain old video for an incredibly easy and delicious, garlic-spiked, balsamic butter sauce. 

The name is going to confuse a few culinary students out there. Technically, a “beurre noir” refers to a sauce where the butter is cooked until it turns a very dark brown, almost black color. I’m using the term “beurre noir,” as one would use “beurre blanc,” a butter sauce made with reduced white wine, or “beurre rouge,” one made with red wine. The technique is identical for these types of sauces, and we just change the name depending on the color.

For you guys out there looking for Valentine’s Day recipe ideas, you can’t go wrong with this very sexy sauce. Everyone knows cooking dinner for your sweetheart on V-Day is way more romantic than taking her out, and you really can’t beat the old home field advantage for these occasions. You don’t have to hire a private dick to figure that one out.

Anyway, I hope you give this a try soon. Rent some classic film noir, grill up some meat or fish, and spoon over this dark, dangerous, and deeply delicious sauce. Enjoy!

Ingredients for 2-3 portions:

2 tsp melted butter

1 sliced garlic clove

1/3 cup aged balsamic vinegar

1 tsp minced red chilies

1/2 tsp tomato paste

salt and pepper to taste

2 tbsp unsalted butter

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Sloppy Toms – This Sandwich Has a Great Personality

I was so excited I’d been able to make such a fine Sloppy Joe with ground turkey instead of the usual beef, that I didn’t even consider its unsightly appearance as I ate. It wasn’t until later, as I edited the footage and photos that I realized this was not an attractive dish.

Even the best looking Sloppy Joe is a homely plate of food, but this was made even more so by the pale turkey meat. As I mentioned in the video, I believe a more thorough browning of the onions would have helped the color, and I will test that theory the next time I make this.

In fairness, it did look a little better in person, and the taste and texture were exactly as I had hoped. It tasted enough like a traditional beef Sloppy Joe to provide that satisfying comfort food fix, yet seemed much lighter.

Superficial beauty aside, this made for a very enjoyable lunch, and kept warm in a slow cooker, could also work very nicely for a Super Bowl party. I hope you give it a try soon. By the way, thanks to Me.Eat.Food for inspiring today post title! Enjoy!

Ingredients for 6 Portions:

2 tbsp butter

1 onion

salt and pepper to taste

1 1/4 pounds ground turkey plus 1/2 cup cold water

3/4 cup ketchup

1 1/2 tbsp brown sugar, or to taste

cayenne to taste

1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce

1/2 tsp unsweetened cocoa
1 1/2 cup water, or as needed

1/3 cup chopped green onions

1/2 cup shredded white cheddar cheese

View the complete recipe

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A Buffalo Wing Sauce-Stained Spoiler: Giants to Win Super Bowl XLVI

As promised, here’s my official Super Bowl XLVI prediction, using Buffalo chicken wing bones! The game will feature the heroic New York Giants vs. the despised New England Patriots, and while I’m sure you would have enjoyed the game anyway, just think how much more fun you’re going to have winning all this easy money too.

The best thing about using bones to predict the winner is not having to waste time gathering information, analyzing game plans, and considering any actual facts. 

No, all the talking haircuts on TV can do that, I’m sticking with this time-tested, definitely-not-an-obvious-joke method. By the way, the fact that the "N" is backwards makes this even more of a sure thing. Why? Don't worry about it.

On a personal note, Michele and I were at Candlestick Park yesterday for the NFC Championship Game! The weather was dreadful, but the old ball yard was rocking, and the game turned into an epic defensive struggle that I’m glad we got to see in person. Go Giants! Enjoy!

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Predicting a Super Bowl Prediction

I’ve received so many emails asking whether or not I’m doing my Super Bowl prediction this year, using Buffalo chicken wing bones. As you may know, we shocked the world last year with our absolutely spot-on prognostication that the Packers would win, cover the spread, and that the score would exceed the over/under line.

Well, great news! As soon as the teams are set, I’ll will toss the bones, and the rest will be up to you. And by “rest” I mean withdrawing your kid’s college funds and betting it all on the game. Stay tuned!

*For those of you that doubt the prodigious prognosticating power of these puny bones, I welcome you to feast your eyes on last year’s prophecy. Scoreboard!

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Broiled Herb-Crusted Salmon – Stop Staring at the Seafood Case, You’re Making the Fishmonger Nervous

I don’t generally talk to strangers – heck, I barely speak to my friends – but once in a while I’ll see someone staring so cluelessly at the fish case in the grocery store, that I just have to jump in and offer them some unsolicited advice – usually suggesting a recipe like this broiled herb-crusted salmon.

This method of broiling salmon, with its simple to make mayonnaise-based crust, produces a magnificently moist and flavorful piece of fish. It can be varied a thousand ways, and other than the actual mayonnaise, literally every other ingredient is optional.

I love the combination of tarragon and Italian parsley, but I’ve used herbs like basil and thyme, which worked wonderfully as well. As far as the fish goes, a center-cut salmon filet is a perfect thickness for this, but other similarly shaped seafood will work.

So, if you happen to be one of those people who get that deer in the headlights look when choosing seafood at the store, I hope you give this great recipe a try. Enjoy!

Ingredients for 2 Servings:

2 (8-oz) center-cut salmon filets

salt and pepper to taste

1 garlic clove, sliced

1/4 tsp kosher salt

1 tbsp chopped tarragon

1 tbsp chopped Italian parsley

1 tsp Dijon mustard

3 tbsp mayonnaise

pinch of cayenne

1 tsp fresh lemon juice, or to taste

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